So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
