ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
