i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
