You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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