You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
