Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
