now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
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