i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
