You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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