I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
