Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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