dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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