Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
