everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My penis needs a shock collar
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
