So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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