South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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