we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
