Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
