come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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