I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
