come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
