oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
