just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
