This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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