At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
