If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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