is your mom at the bar?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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