Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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