Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
