You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
