My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
