Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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