as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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