i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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