god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
