If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
