my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Your penis caused this!
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