why didn't you poke me back
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
