I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
