Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
