whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
