i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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