For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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