Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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