Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
