Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
