I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
