i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
