yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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