this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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