You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
His hands were made for my vagina.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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