i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
